Ennjay's Inferno
by thulium86
Summary: Equestria's biggest trolls are at it again! The results: Celestia's chief janitor Twilight Sparkle has disappeared. An odd pony with an odd power has to save the odd day with her odd friends. Zombies. Laser cats. Ok, no laser cats.
1. Epilogue

The sun had been up for only two hours and already Twilight Sparkle was so absorbed in her books that the rest of the world had ceased to exist for her. Lately she had noticed some disturbing omens in Equestria… the most disturbing of all being this frank foreboding feeling of unforgotten familiar foes.

That alliteration was very redundant, she mused to herself…

The book she was reading was about Equestrian Astronomy, but oddly enough the last two paragraphs she was reading seemed strangely… fictitious. Yes. The book, without warning, had shifted into fanfiction about Starswirl the Bearded's secret romance with Princess Luna.

"Wait a minute, this isn't right…" she said aloud while slightly blushing.

"Oh my dear, I don't think it's ever been so right…" said a voice behind her.

Twilight jumped and yelped in surprise. The world around her suddenly existed again.

"Discord! I didn't give you permission to invade my residence!"

The large gray and brown hybrid animal thing was visibly blushing as he now held the book he had been reading over Twilight's shoulder a moment before.

"Oh come now, Twilight Sprinkle, do friends need permission to invade their friends' residences?"

A donut with pink and purple sprinkles appeared in his hand suddenly and he took a bite while still reading and blushing. Shortly that same book was surrounded by purpley magic sparkles as it levitated out of his grasp and onto the bookshelves right on the border of Fiction and Non-Ficton.

Twilight Sprinkle… I mean Sparkle… let out an exasperated sigh…

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Oh, I've just come to talk stars with a fellow enthusiast of the cosmos," began Discord, "I mean, just look at those twinkling little dots of villainy and treachery!"

His tone was rather joyful as he mentioned villainy and treachery. Wait… about what? The stars!?

"Villainy? The stars are villainous?" said Twilight.

"Oh yes. Look at how menacing they are! Especially that one."

Discord pointed to a particularly large celestial body.

"You mean the moon?" asked Twilight.

"Yes, that's the one. Who knows what dastardly plans were hatched on its wretchedly scarred surface…" said Discord.

"Are you suggesting that things live on the moon?"

"Not live. Lived. You and I both know that it was home to a particularly prickly princess," said Discord.

"You mean Luna? I wouldn't think she's specifically dastardly…"

"Really? I thought you were good at math, Professor Sparkle."

"Math?"

"Of course. Thousands of years of solitude and banishment… could that really be overcome by five minutes of apology? What would you be doing after all the bitterness and anguish you felt culminated in a hundred times a hundred life sentences on the most barren and lonely prison conceivable?"

In a poof there was a cauldron before Discord with questionable green contents that glowed eerily as he stirred it with a large wooden spoon.

"Don't you think all those feelings would be… stirring up to form some magnificent culinary concoction…"

With a poof the cauldron disappeared to be replaced with a three tier cake with white frosting being crowned with an intricately detailed figurine of Celestia with an apple in her mouth.

"…of revenge?"

"Discord, Luna is reformed," said Twilight as she used her own magic to dispel the disturbing cake.

"Besides," she continued, "if she had been planning to overthrow Celestia since her return, wouldn't she have done so by now? Like during one of the many disasters that has occurred since her return?"

"Reformed," said Discord with obvious disgust, "such a patronizing word."

"Regardless," he continued, "watch her eyes next time you see her. They may seem a bit…"

Pause for dramatic emphasis…

"…shifty."

These were Discord's last words as he made a door appear right next to Twilight's front door and shifted out himself, leaving Twilight to ponder on the fact that the darkest omen may have just happened.

* * *

><p>Twilight found difficulty forgetting that strange conversation. Even after a whole season passed that dull feeling of anxiety still nagged at her.<p>

As such, the tiniest of alarms went off in her head when she was summoned to by Princess Luna into the Everfree Forest.

Spike had belched out the note just moments before as she was puzzling over it.

_Twilight Sparkle,_

_Equestria is in great danger! You must meet me at the Tree of Harmony and bring your five friends. Make haste, there is no time to lose!_

_Princess Luna_

It was odd to receive a note from the Celestia's sister. It was all the more suspicious after Discord's ambiguous warning from before. Still… Discord's loyalty had failed during Tirek's invasion whereas Luna's loyalty was impeccable post-Nightmare Moon. Obviously the latter was more trustworthy.

Thus, during a particularly stormy night, six ponies dashed against the rain to a familiar place few ponies knew existed.

Well, five of them dashed… one skipped.

When Twilight and Apple Jack and Rarity and… you know all of them already if you're reading this fic…

When the "mane six" arrived at the alcove that contained the Tree of Harmony, there was Luna waiting for them and a box with six key-holes. Didn't they already open a similar box?

"Luna, we're all here!" said Twilight.

"Hey look, another box!" squealed Pinkie Pig… I mean Pie.

"Didn't we already open one of these and get superpowers!? Does this mean we'll get more!?" Rainbow Dash said as she hovered over the box examining it from all angles.

"Please listen, there isn't much time," said Luna, and twelve ponies eyes went from the shiney box to the alicorn princess—that is, the midnight blue alicorn princess, not the purple one.

"The stars will soon align in such a mystical and inexplicable manner that great magical energy will be released granting our old foes the ability to return," said Luna.

The six ponies were either shocked or confused by this announcement, depending on their individual level of intelligence.

"That's right," continued Luna, "Chrysallis, Sombra, and Tirek will return all at once. Though the elements were enough to defeat them before, it is doubtful they have the strength to stand up to them together. That is why the Tree of Harmony has given us a new gift to deal with this imminent crisis."

All twelve pony eyes returned to the shiney box.

"But we don't have the keys for this one," said Twilight.

"Dear Twilight, you yourselves have become the keys. You are now all fused with the elements of harmony, and just by your touch alone the gift will be opened and Equestria can be saved," said Luna.

"Well gracious me, I'd wish we'd been this prepared for all the other disasters," said Apple Jack.

"I know, it almost seems too easy!" said Rarity as she trotted up to the box and put her hoof on it. The box glowed in response to her touch.

Apple Jack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy followed suit.

"Too easy…" whispered Twilight under her breath.

She took a good look at Luna's eyes.

"Twilight, is everything ok?" asked Fluttershy.

"Twilight?" echoed Luna.

Twilight saw in Luna's face only nobility and purpose, just like what she had often seen in Celestia's own countenance.

"Let's do this," said Twilight as she stepped forward and resolutely put her hoof on the box, joining her friends.

The reaction was almost immediate. The box brightened significantly and light filled the cavern.

Then the light faded.

The storm outside seemed to be immediately drawn into the cavern, as if all of mother nature began to focus on that one spot.

The box began to emanate thick darkness.

"Wooo, exciting!" shouted Pinkie Pie.

"No, wait, somehtin's not right!" said Apple Jack.

But the rushing wind made it hard for them to hear each other's concerns.

However, Twilight heard one thing above all the calamity.

It was laughter. Luna's laughter.

* * *

><p>Shortly after the storm passed, Luna returned to her castle in Canterlot.<p>

Celestia was looking out on the night. It was unusual for her up to be up past sunset like this.

"Sister, is something wrong?" asked Luna.

"That storm seemed unnatural. But it is passed. I shall retire and leave the night to you again, Luna," said Celestia as she turned away from the night.

Celestia returned to her quarters, but she had sensed something significant happen during the middle of that strange storm… as if something important disappeared. Her immediate thought was to get Twilight on the case so she could sleep soundly. Just that thought alone helped her to start drifting off. It could wait til the morning, surely.

She didn't know how long she had been asleep when a clop came at the door.

Normally she would have been annoyed but after that strange night, she got up almost immediately.

"Come in."

The door opened and Luna stepped in. At least, Celestia thought it was Luna. The royal chambers were dark and veiled in shadow because Celestia had not risen the sun yet.

"Sister?" asked Celestia.

"Sister," came the reply. It was Luna.

"What is the matter?" asked Celestia.

"Your naivete has long astounded me," began Luna, "for all the things you sensed, you never sensed this coming."

Luna tossed a bag on the floor in front of Celestia. Two objects bounced out. One was a blackened unicorn horn with a red tip, the other a pair of silver shackles.

"These relics… what are you doing with these?" said Celestia as her suspicion rose.

"The stars have aligned sister. That which was sealed shall now be unsealed… again."

The horn on Luna's head began to shine and the objects began to move. A dark cloud formed around the horn and the shackles and each began to slowly take form.

"Luna, what is happening? Sombra and Tirek are returning! Quickly we can still stop them!"

Celestia leapt from her bed and readied her magic. She was distracted, however, by how her sister did not move.

"Luna?" asked… no pleaded Celestia.

"Do you still blindly see me as your sister? I brought them here. Do you think I will then turn and banish them again?" said Luna.

But Celestia would not believe it. Instead of directing her magic towards Luna she began to focus her energy on preventing the forming Tirek and Sombra from taking shape. Her magic surrounded the dark forms and began to shrink the swirling clouds.

It was then that Luna's magic struck her. It wasn't a powerful blow, but one strong enough to break her containment of the dark masses.

Celestia had finally had it. She leaped forward and tackled her sister with her horn burning bright with dangerous magic intent on subduing and punished. But Luna only laughed as she was pinned beneath her sister's hooves.

It was no longer Luna's voice.

"Hahaha, you really are adorable Celestia. You still hold your magic back from your own sister?"

It was now clearly Chrysallis pinned beneath her. It had been Chrysallis all along. But Celestia would have little pause in a righteously burning this villain who was not her sister.

Her magic showered down on the changeling queen which produced a most interesting reaction.

Chrysallis cried in both pain and delight! She was not only crying at the pain but also laughing maniacally.

Celestia did not understand and only increased the power of her barrage.

But it was too late, for behind her the forms of Sombra and Tirek had taken shape. Celestia sensed it all too late.

She turned quickly and blasted away the creeping, gaunt form of Tirek and turned toward Sombra, but the dark unicorn had already made his move. Red crystals sprung up from the ground and held Celestia in place, and black crystals sprouted on her horn, effectively silencing her magic.

"Man, the old hag still packs a bite," said Chrysallis amidst giggles.

"Masochist," came the grinding voice of Sombra.

"Indeed," gasped Tirek as he rose from the place corner of the room where he had been blasted to. He strode towards the captured Princess.

"You twisted creatures will never learn! The elements of Harmony will reseal you again and again until you get tired of these feeble attempts of villainy!" cursed Celestia.

"Oh so poetic," said Chrysallis as she nuzzled against Celestia, much to the latter's disgust. "too bad your chief janitor Twilight Sparkle has already been taken care of."

"What?" said Celestia.

"You won't believe that either, will you?" said Chrysallis.

"No matter," said Tirek as he stood before Celestia, "a promise is a promise."

Tirek opened his mouth and did what he does best: eat magic.

GRRRAAAWWWWW! That may not be the best onomatopoeia for eating allicorn magic. Maybe a "THWOOOOOOOOP!" No?

Regardless, Celestia was soon drained of all her power.

Tirek himself gained significant physical size as a result of this feast.

"Eck, Sombra, I tasted some of your blasted crystals in that one," complained Tirek in a somewhat more powerful voice.

"Picky," replied Sombra.

Celestia collapsed on the ground as the crystals around her feet and on her horn disintegrated.

Suddenly the door to the royal chamber opened again. The three antagonists turned to see who was joining the party.

"Oh dear, am I late?"

It was Discord.

"Discord, you miserable turncoat. How convenient for you to be late," said Tirek.

"Convenient? Phooey! I missed the good part. How are you feeling, oh mighty princess!?" Discord addressed the defeated Celestia and with a flick of his wrist presented her with a familiar bouquet of flowers. Since she didn't respond, he simply dropped the flowers next to her limp form.

"So, we're on to the next part of the plan, right? What are we doing with her again?" asked Discord.

"Moon," growled Sombra.

"Oh right, that's my job, isn't it? I'll be taking this," he picked up the form of Celestia with relative ease.

"Say bananas!" exclaimed Discord, and with a salute, flames shot from his feet and he blasted off like a rocket, breaking through the roof and shortly becoming a mere speck of light in the sky moving toward the moon.

"Finally, Equestria is ours!" shouted Chrysallis, "I've always wanted to say that, but maybe with 'mine' instead of 'ours'…"

"No," said Tirek, "there is still much opposition for us. That is why we must stay together until all of Equestria is subdued. After all this is said and done, we can divide up the spoils to however we see fit."

"Well, I'm betting I'll get stuck with Ponyville," said Chrysallis, "though I don't mind so much. There's plenty of love and general good feeling mush there to feed me and my subjects for quite a while."

"Crystal!" hissed Sombra.

"Of course, the Crystal Kingdom will be given back to you where it rightfully belongs," said Tirek, "which leaves me Canterlot."

"Oh? Aren't you forgetting someone?" said Chrysallis.

"Discord? He gets the last pick as the least of us. We'll give him the Everfree Forest. It seems like his sort of place anyways," responded Tirek.

"No, I meant… her," said Chrysallis.

"She will be satisfied with whatever I say. She fears me, and rightfully so."

"Well, if you're that confident, let's get started then. No point waiting for her."

The three strode out onto the balcony of the royal chambers, the same balcony that Celestia rose the sun from each morning. Before them was all of Equestria.

Tirek finished with one last declaration:

"There will be no sunrise for Equestria. A new era has begun!"


	2. Chapter 1

**Six months later…**

A hooded figure trotted by the light of the iridescent toadstools on the shores of a large body of water in the Everfree forest. The trees were all dead from their lack of sunlight and most of the creatures had fled or perished themselves… or worse.

"This crisis upon us is beyond scope; but perhaps this lake still contains hope."

The hooded figure removed the hood, becoming just a figure. It was a zebra. Her name was Zecora.

Duh.

Zecora looked around the dark lake. Barely anything moved. A quick gray and brown rabbit dashed by her hooves before disappearing amongst the dead fauna slash toadstools.

"Perhaps my hope was a bit rushed; for the one to meet is not worth trust."

The strange rabbit jumped back out of the brush and stared at Zecora.

Then it talked.

"Sorry. I really just wanted to see if you talked like that when you were by yourself. You certainly don't disappoint!"

The rabbit, in a poof, became a whole different creature altogether.

It was Discord.

Duh.

"Really, the creative juices to always rhyme in rhythm is incredible. You are either incredibly gifted… or incredibly cursed. No offense," said Discord with a wink.

"Greater matters are at hoof; for heavy darkness is aloof," jammed Zecora.

"Yes. It's been aloof for a while…" said Discord, looking at the dark night sky, "…quite literally."

"Then let us do what must be done; to bring the return of the sun."

"Yes. I'm just not sure if this is the lake where I put it. Let me go for a dip and then I'll be right back."

With a pop, Discord's lower half became like the lower half of a fish, and like a bizarre, twisted merman he dove into the lake.

Moments later he leapt back out and assumed his usual form.

"Well, that was refreshing. Now for some relaxing sport," said Discord.

A fishing rod appeared in his hand as he sat on the shore. The bait looked like usual bait except for the fact that it was white with black stripes… or perhaps black with white stripes. Discord cast the line out into the center of the lake.

Zecora fumed.

"Of our plight you do make light, but we must fight to end this night!" Zecora rapped.

"Ooo, good one!" exclaimed Discord.

Whether he was referring to the extra set of rhymes in Zecora's last sentence or to his immediate catch is unknown, but shortly he begun to tug mightily on the fishing rod.

The lake began to roil, which I think is a mixture of boiling and rolling.

A large sphere made of ice broke the surface in the middle of the lake, evidently brought there by Discord's line. From this sphere, a beam of light shot immediately skyward, piercing the night sky like a laser dagger on an infinite-size Midnight dark chocolate Milky Way bar… like a nuclear glow stick on a porcelain ebony kitchen counter-top that happens to stretch forever… or perhaps like that shining beacon at the top of Hero's Duty in Wreck-It-Ralph but altogether less green.

Zecora didn't marvel at the sight. Very few things phase her, after all. Discord continued to pull on his fishing rod until the icy sphere was completely lifted from the water.

In the middle of the sphere was the silhouette of a figure… a unicorn pony with glowing eyes and a glowing arrow pointing down on its forehead—or whatever a pony's equivalent of a forehead is. It was frozen in the act of running, it seems…

The sphere floated on the surface for a moment when Discord snapped his finger and the thing exploded magnificently! The light beam vanished and the ice disappeared, and the only thing remaining was a soggy pony that was thrown by the explosion to land on the shore right before Discord and Zecora.

It was a female unicorn pony, with a yellow coat and brown mane styled just like your personal favorite style of pony mane—and if you're not good at decisions, just give her Vinyl's style.

On her flank was a cutie mark resembling a yellow straw hat.

Slowly she opened her eyes which happened to also be brown—again, plain.

The first thing she did was shake off the water and a glowing arrow that was formerly attached to the top of her head.

She spoke.

"Ouch… what happened? Did I miss the cosplay convention?"

She looked around and saw the two figures before her. Maybe. She was squinting despite the fact that it was night time.

"Maybe I didn't miss it after all…"

Discord immediately snaked around her until he was right up in her face with his own.

"Well hello there, my good pony crusader! Could you remind us of your name?" asked Discord.

"Uh… It's Hazel Daze, and—space?"

Without giving her the requested space, Discord picked up the perplexed pony and proudly presented her to his partner. Pow!

"Oh look, Zecora, it's Hazel Daze, the CHOSEN one!"

"Chosen… one?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Yes, in the fact that I chose you and stuffed you somewhere safe so that one day you could return and save all of Equestria!" exclaimed Discord as fireworks exploded around him.

"Huh?"

"The twisted one speaks truth indeed; it is for you the world has need," chimed Zecora.

Hazel Daze… can we just call her Hazel? No? It's been used already? Ok… Hazel Daze sat there in dumbfounded silence for just a bit longer.

"Oh, well… I mean, if you guys are going to do a role play, you'd best get someone else. It's dark now, which means I should probably get back to my parents' house…"

said Hazel as she turned to leave.

"Wait!" yelled Discord as he rushed in front of her once again, "We need you to single-hoofedly overturn the evil bosses that have taken over Equestria and bring the sun back into the sky! It's not like we're asking for much…"

Hazel moved around him and started walking away again.

"Seriously, weirdo, it's late and it's dark and I'm hungry and I'm going home."

She walked a few more steps before stopping and taking in her surroundings, perhaps for the first time.

"Wait, am I in the Everfree Forest?"

Suddenly a screaming organism rushed from the bushes and immediately tackled Hazel Daze. Discord, thinking that she was being attacked, immediately conjured a taze gun in his hand and shot the creature, which responded by yelping and immediately going limp.

Hazel Daze pushed the limp form off of her, and scooted back before she could look on in revulsion.

"Oh wait, it's just a pony…"

It was indeed. There on the ground was the limp form of a female earth pony with orange coat and a neon green mane that glowed not unlike the nearby toadstools. Her cutey mark was a pair of carrots.

"Just a pony?" retorted Discord, "My dear, there is no such thing anymore as 'just a pony'"

Discord then proceeded to examine the downed pony by pulling up her eyelinds and opening her mouth and even taking a blood sample and examining it under a microscope. How does Discord even know about such technology that doesn't exist in Equestria yet?

"Odd indeed," said Discord, "for this pony doesn't exhibit any zombie-like or changeling features… I think we might have the real deal here."

"Sure, why not use that one as your chosen one?" said Hazel Daze as she started again to walk in a direction that she thought might be her home but was at least further away from these wierdos.

"To meet us here is no mistake; this pony comes to us by fate," freestyled Zecora.

The unconscious pony groaned as if coming to. Hazel Daze paused in her reteat, perhaps out of a mixture of curiousity and concern for this strange pony.

"OOOOUUUUUUUCHHHHH!" yelled the formerly comatose orange pony, "I feel like I rolled in a bed of electric nettles."

Electric nettles, just so you know, are a type of the nettle plant modified by the magic of Equestria to actually contain negative charges of electricity in its spines instead of histamine chemicals. It is said that it feels akin to being shocked, or even tazed, though only Discord knows of this latter technology.

The pony looked around and saw Discord and Zecora.

"Wait, I saw a light…" she began, "and this regular pony here that I tackled just a second ago. Where is she? Did you guys eat her?"

"No, I'm right here," said Hazel Daze.

Hazel Daze made an excited noise just like that one that Pinkie Pie makes when she rapidly inhales air.

"The pony of light!" cried the strange pony that we don't know the name of yet.

She leaped again at Hazel Daze as if to tackle her for a second time. She succeeded… kind of. She was squealing with joy when she realized that she had in fact tackled a stuffed pony toy that resembled Hazel Daze.

"Wha wha wha?"

The actual Hazel Daze was standing just a few feet away with her horn glowing as if she had just finished using magic.

"Heheh," she said sheepishly, "substitution no jutsu."

?

Even the narrator was confused at this development.

Discord looked on in perplexity himself.

"What the tartarus is a… jutsu?" he said.

"It's that thing that I don't explain because I'm headed home now," said Hazel Daze, "so like I said before—bye!"

Kind of a snot, isn't she?

She trotted only a few seconds before stopping again.

"Oh yeah, wait, I don't know where I am…" she said.

She turned back to her dumbfounded acquaintances and asked "Can someone show me the way back to Ponyville?"

Discord disappeared and then reappeared next to her in the form of a striped cat with a huge Disney-ish mouth.

"I can show you the way back if you agree to save the world," said Discord.

"Seriously, let it go!" replied Hazel Daze.

"Let it go!" sang no-name orange pony, "that's what this guy was singing as he rolled a huge ice boulder into that lake!"

"Ice boulder!?"

Suddenly Hazel Daze remembered a strange gray pony with a sinister face intercepting her on her way to the cosplay conventin—a face that resembled Discord's face, consequently. He had pulled out a wand and from his mane and said "bippity boppity boo"…and then everything got really cold and fuzzy, as if she were encased in ice. Then she felt like everything was spinning, as if she was being rolled in a giant ice boulder.

"You!" she shouted at Discord, "What did you do?"

"Actually, I probably save your life… or your brains at least," said Discord.

But Hazel Daze didn't hear him. She didn't even listen to the response. Saying something that sounded like "cheedoory" she suddenly had a small ball of lightning buzzing at the tip of her horn which she ran at the Discord cat.

He was a bit slow to react. When the horn connected with him he was shocked to the point of being cartoonishly catapulted out of sight.

Hazel Daze let out a sigh and the lightning on her horn subsided. She turned toward the orange pony.

"Sorry, but do you know these woods?"

"Miss you have weird powers," replied the orange pony.

"Well your hair glows and that's kinda weird!" snapped back Hazel Daze.

The orange pony was taken aback for a moment, as if Hazel Daze had suddenly pointed out a very embarrassing birthmark that covered most of her face.

"Well, fair enough," said the orange pony, "and yes I know these woods as if they were a very embarrassing birthmark that covered most of my face."

Just for the record, the orange pony did not actually have a very embarrassing birthmark that covered most of her face. It was all in theory.

"Great! Well… can you like, help me get back to Ponyville?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Sure, but I don't know why anyone would want to go there!" said the carrot-butted orange pony.

"Thanks!" said Hazel Daze, "By the way, what is your name?"

"Oh, it's Baby Carrots. Duh."

Baby Carrots—finally we can say her name!—then trotted off into some of the thickest foliage. Hazel Daze, though visibly confused, trotted after her.

Zecora was now by herself at the lake.

"Discord's chosen one, ideed; a miracle is what we need," Zecora sagaciously prophesied.


	3. Chapter 2

As Hazel Daze and Baby Carrots trekked through the Everfree forest, Baby Carrots managed to divulge most of her story so the time wouldn't be passed in awkward silence.

"Yeah, I actually moved to the Everfree forest myself because animals are better than ponies. At least, they are since all the ponies either disappeared or became zombies," said Baby Carrots.

"Wait, what? And aren't ponies animals too?" replied Hazel Daze.

"Sure, but non-talking animals beat talking animals. I guess that means most of the ponies would be ok now. I mean, they wouldn't say things like, 'you're weird' or 'you're earthy' or 'you're a Pinkie Pie rip-off!' and stuff like that… they'd just be like, 'ugggggggg' cause they're zombies now and stuff."

"Ok, all this zombie and 'bring-back-the-sun' stuff, you can drop the act," said Hazel Daze, still in denial.

"Oh, but it's not an act, or a story, or a joke, or a role-play; it's as serious as a paraspite pony-pox pandemic," said Baby Carrots, "I mean, look around you. The trees and grass are all dead. All that grows now are plants that thrive in darkness, like these glowing mushrooms."

Baby Carrots paused to bend over… and eat one of the glowing mushrooms.

"Once your system develops an immunity you stop vomiting and the only side effect is a glowing mane," said Baby Carrots with her mouth full of iridescent fungus.

She kicked an eerily glowing toadstool toward the hooves of Hazel Daze.

"Here try this one. It's about a six on the scale of repulsiveness, which is pretty good," said Baby Carrots.

"Um, I'm not so hungry," said Hazel Daze, "but I do have a question. How did all of this happen? I mean, why are there zombies and eternal night and everything? Did we have a Nightmare Night go wrong?"

"Well, there's a lot of things still unknown…" began Baby Carrots, "someponies say—or when someponies used to say things—that Celestia has been usurped by something evil. It's entirely possible. I mean, there is FOR SURE an evil queen sitting in Ponyville. I'm not too sure what's going on elsewhere though…"

"So why would everypony be zombies?"

Hazel Daze really didn't believe this last part too much. The evidence for the sun not rising was there, but to her, the jury was still out on the sanity of this Baby Carrots. Zombies? Although, it would be kind of cool…

"Well, most unicorns lost their magic like what happened when Tirek came. The Crystal Kingdom stopped all correspondence altogether, and it seems that all the citizens in Ponyville…"

"Well how come you're not a zombie then, Carrots? Or are you?" asked Hazel Daze skeptically.

"Oh me? Well, it's probably because I was already mostly living in the Everfree forest. I'm kind of like the wild child of the Apple family, so I frequently ran away from home in Appaloosa," said Baby Carrots.

"Wild child? Apple family?"

"Yeah, but like I said, I always liked non-talking animals than talking animals. Since I didn't have 'Apple' in my name, lots of folks didn't think I would even be good at growing apples. What's wrong with carrots?"

"So the Everfree forest is now the safest place in Equestria?"

"Well, not exactly. The lack of sun is starting to affect the animals here. That's why I was so excited to see that beacon of light that came from you! I thought you were going to bring back the sun before all the animals in this forest get really weird. Take that one for example."

Baby Carrots pointed at a large glowing alligator that was lumbering toward the two ponies. It looked hungry.

Hazel Daze gasped and immediately readied her magic. However, as soon as her horn began to glow, Baby Carrots stopped her.

"Wait! Let me handle this. He's attracted to my mane after all," said Baby Carrots.

With that, she lept onto the oncoming reptile and proceeded to wrestle the dang thing! Hazel Daze looked on in confused fascination.

"Go on," yelled Baby Carrots as she had her front legs—which often function as a pony's arms—wrapped around the beast's mouth so he couldn't open his jaws, "just keep moving forward, Ponyville isn't too far at this point."

"Well, are you going to be ok?" Hazel Daze yelled at the struggling pony.

"Sure, this is one of my favorite things to do!"

Hazel Daze hesitated only a moment before she started moving forward again, which really wasn't that easy to do without the light of Baby Carrot's glowing mane. She very awkwardly tripped and ran into a number of trees before the foliage seemed to break and she found herself in the clearing before Ponyville.

The town was very quiet, which didn't register as alarming to Hazel Daze because it was dark outside and Ponyville typically wasn't very lively anyways after curfew. However, after trotting through the streets she found that there were background ponies going about their usual business of making the town appear populated and town-like. Nothing strange at all, it seemed, except they were out a little later than normal.

When she reached her house she walked right in and there, sitting at the table in the middle of the room were…

…her parents.

"Mom, dad! Phew. I thought something crazy had happened!"

Her parents turned to look at her, very much not zombies. Hazel Daze breathed a sigh of relief. As it turns out, that Baby Carrots must have been snacking on one too many mushrooms… or, remembering her own weird night, Hazel Daze suspected she might have accidently sampled some herself.

"Hey… there… " said her father, somewhat awkwardly.

At this point, it might behoove us (behoove… snicker) to put a name on Hazel Daze's mom and dad, but trust me, they won't play a very big part in the story, so we'll just keep referring to them as Hazel Daze's mom and dad. Also, they are unicorns. Paint them whatever colors you deem.

"Well, I've had an exhausting and somewhat weird day… and I think I might have eaten something weird. I'm going to bed," said Hazel Daze.

"Ok… there…" said mum.

"Good night!" said Hazel Daze.

"Ok… there…" said pops.

Hazel Daze went straight upstairs to her bed and flopped on it. She tried to shut her eyes and sleep, but she actually wasn't all that tired… it was almost like she had just awoken from a six month long nap. Additionally, the strange events from the day still played in her head.

After about half an hour of restless rest, she heard the door to her room open. She didn't move as if on instinct, pretending she was still asleep. Two sets of hooves were heard walking across the floorboards toward her bed. Then the sparkly sound of magic being activated was heard. Hazel Daze rolled over to see two silhouettes with green glowing horns…

Green glowing horns!

As everyone knows, the color green, when it comes to magic, is usually associated with darkness and evil—at least when it comes to Equestria and Hogwarts; Captain Planet would find this incredibly ironic.

Needless to say Hazel Daze knew that her parents' magic was not green. She jumped out of bed and upon closer look saw that her parents' eyes also had a greenish tint to them… probably just reflecting the sprakling green of their horns.

"Zombies!" gasped Hazel Daze.

The fact that she was awake gave the two "parents" pause which gave her enough time to activiate her own magic. An alchemic circle appeared on the floor below her and in an instant the floor underneath both her and her parents imploded, letting the two unexpecting parents fall and Hazel Daze to jump on top of them. She pointed her horn menacingly at what should have been her parents.

"Where are my mom and dad?" she threatened.

The two ponies looked distraught for a second… just a second… then they started laughing. Both of them. In voices that Hazel Daze knew did not belong to her parents.

A bang at the door startled Hazel Daze and she looked up to see, through the windows, that most of the townsfolk of Equestria were gathered around her house, looking in directly at her. The glow of green was all around now, from horns and eyes alike, like a giant evil fairy had farted evil dust on Hazel Daze's house.

Now it was Hazel Daze's turn to be distraught. She backed up against the wall that was furthest from all the windows and front door. Shortly the front door gave way and in marched the angry townsfolk with green eyes and horns aglow. Her parents rose from the floor and suddenly changed appearance.

With a blip of green magic where once stood her parents now stood two changelings.

"Well, at least it's not zombies," said Hazel Daze as she regained her composure. There was but one thing to do now. Hazel Daze's horn began to glow.

"Gumo gumo no punch!"

From her horn came multiple rubbery hooves, which, despite being rubbery and stretched to near maximum elasticity were surprisingly effective at clearing a path. She ran from her house as changelings and townsfolk alike were thrown and clobbered by the rapidly striking rubber hooves. Imagine the battle of Helms Deep when the explosives went off under the wall and rock and elf and man were tossed during that explosion. This is how that scene looked, only with ponies instead of rocks and elves and men.

Hazel Daze's magic ceased but she had already broken out into the open in the Ponyville streets, having escaped the siege of her house. But then she stood there as her enemies began to regroup around her. She was paralyzed by one realization.

Where would she go?

This was her home. That crazy Baby Carrots was starting to seem less crazy… which meant Equestria probably was wrapped in eternal night and there was nopony left except zombies and changelings.

Hazel Daze bowed her head as changelings began to close the circle that had formed around her. Suddenly, in a poof of smoke, there before Hazel Daze was Queen Chrysallis in all her terrible majesty.

"Stop!" she cried to the changelings around her, "this creature is mine! Did you think to deprive me of another snack?"

The changelings backed off for a bit. One of them stepped forward.

"Why are you so skinny?" he asked.

Chrysallis seethed. Where was this guy's tact? With a blast of radioactive green, the questioning changeling was reduced to ashes.

Wait, did something just die? Does that even happen in Equestria?

The pile of ash coughed and gave a cartoonish smile. Crisis averted.

"I'll be taking this you filthy subjects!" snapped Chrysallis.

She surrounded Hazel Daze in a green glow making her levitate. With a buzzing sound like a giant sickly wasp, she flew directly upward from the crowd of changelings with Hazel Daze still floating in front of her.

As the two gained altitude, Hazel Daze noticed something odd… the town hall had been uprooted and smashed on the top of Twilight Sparkle's new library. On top of that was Rarity's shop, then Sugar cube corner, then Apple Jacks barn. The whole "tower" was held together by some snotty green gunk. Changelings buzzed all around it as if it was some sort of corrupted and angered hive.

"Things are really buzzing down there, don't you think," said Chrysallis.

Oddly enough, the stirred wasp nest was shrinking in the distance. Chrysallis was taking her further away from grotesque tower. Hazel Daze shortly noticed that they were headed towards the Everfree forest.

They landed in the clearing that Hazel Daze had emerged from earlier that day… I mean night.

"So, are you ready to save the world now?" asked Chrysallis.

Then she lifted her hoof and unzipped her face… and the rest of her body. Out of this Chrysallis uniform stepped Discord to much fanfare.

"You again!" said Hazel Daze, but only half in anger this time. The other half was exasperation.

"Now I'm certain that I've saved your brains!" said Discord, "In fact, if it weren't for me you probably would be stuck in an upside cocoon made of slime feeding the fat queen of the changelings with whatever joy you have left."

"Joy? She wouldn't get much of a meal."

"Oh, why the long face, Dazzle Haze? No offense… with the whole 'long face' pun," said Discord.

"You should have just left me. I don't have a home anymore and everyone I ever knew is a zombie!"

"Well, so you're just going to quit and give up instead of looking for a cure for zombie-ism? The main cast would be so disappointed…"

"Why don't you do something then, since you seem to have way more power than me and you care so much about saving the world!" said Hazel Daze.

"Oh I've got a perfectly good reason for using you. You see, my arthritis is acting up," said Discord as he flexed his fingers and made the sound of a rusty joints moving. Some of his fingers even fell off of his hands, or paws, depending on which hand you think about.

"Did I say arthritis?" said Discord, "I think I meant leprosy."

He began to collect his fingers and stick them back on his hand, some of them being put on the wrong one.

"Well then, I guess the world is doomed," said Hazel Daze as she sat down on the ground.

"Well, Hazey Days, perhaps you wouldn't sing your sad song of woe if I told you that you could still rescue your parents. In fact, they're probably not zombies. Ponyville is infected with changelings right now, big difference. Sombra is the zombie guy," said Discord.

"So what happened to my mom and dad then?" asked Hazel Daze.

"I'd say they're probably being kept in pins or cocoons near the queen so she can feed off of their love and happy feelings and all that mushy stuff. I tell you, if I had her diet I'd probably choke on purpose…"

"So my mom and dad are alive? Alive and not undead?"

"I mean, maybe. This is Equestria. Even during times of apocalyptic catastrophe, nothing really ever bites the dust…"

"Well, if you won't do anything than what should I do?"

"Wait, really? You're asking me? It's obvious! Overthrow Queen Chrysallis and free the citizens of Equestria!"

Discord smiled at her as if he had just solved all the world's problems. Hazel Daze sighed.

"Let me get this straight. I battle, myself, through a swarm of changelings and take on an evil queen who almost single-handedly beat two allicorns and the mane six?" said Hazel Daze.

"How did you know about that?" asked Discord.

"I watch the show," said Hazel Daze as she winked at the audience.

"Well, then you know your odds are pretty good," said Discord.

"Huh?"

"The good guy always wins, right?" reasoned Discord.

"I kinda feel like I'm working for the bad guy," said Hazel Daze.

Discord squealed in delight!

"Ooooh, I do love a morally ambiguous protagonist!" he said.

"Besides, the odds are still like seven thousand to one…"

"Seven thousand to two!" came a familiar voice from the bushes.

A somewhat bedraggled orange pony with glowing green hair emerged from the bushes.

"Woa… what happened to that alligator?" asked Hazel Daze.

"That poor thing…" said a somber Baby Carrots.

"Speaking of poor things," said Baby Carrots, "you don't really have anyplace to be, right? I'd offer the Everfree forest, but it's kind of getting to be a really lousy place. Also, if you really can save your family, maybe I can save mine too…"

Baby Carrots trailed off as she said that last part.

"Come on!" said Discord, "What else are you going to do? Become a vampony?"

A vampony, in case it's not obvious, is slang for a nocturnal pony that drinks the juice of innocent fruits, like apples. Twilight Sparkle once unwittingly bestowed this gift/curse on Fluttershy, if you recall.

Hazel Daze sighed… and then she felt some courage well up within her. Where did it come from? Who knows… probably from the author for the purposes of moving the plot along.

"Ok," she said, "but we're going to need a plan."

"Oh I thought you'd never ask for one of those!" said Discord, "So let me tell you a little about what a changeling is made up of."


	4. Chapter 3

Back in Ponyville under the cover of eternal night, a single pony dressed in a stylish white hoody jumped from roof to roof as Spanish guitars played a tense theme that suggested stealth and danger!

She jumped from a roof to land gracefully in front of the door of Twilight's library tower that was stacked high with other edifices that formerly belonged to the main six.

The place smelt like a used dish rag dipped in sour milk and dragged through a sea made of butts. Perhaps that was a bit juvenile, but that is how the changelings do.

The pony in the white hood did that thing with her nose that someone does when they smell something bad.

"Uggg… this smells like… like…" began Hazel Daze.

The pony in the white hoody is Hazel Daze, by the way. Also, duh.

"Just like home!" said another pony in another white hoody who appeared suddenly next to Hazel Daze at the entrance of the slimey library.

"And why did you jump on the roofs to get here? I just walked through the crowd," continued Baby Carrots, who happened to be the other pony in the white hood.

"Well… you know… style…"

With that, Hazel Daze opened the door to the library.

The bottom floor of Twilight's library had been constructed into some sort of insectoid throne room. On a pile of books held together by what looked like green boogers, there sat a large blog of black with green hair and two eyes and four hooves and a horn. Around this mass buzzed a myriad of changelings in their original dark and generic forms. Around the black mass were several male ponies that could have possibly been changelings as well.

The formless mass of block sitting on the book throne of boogers fixed its eyes on the two who had just entered.

"Mmmmm… I like your fashion my underlings! Please come closer so that I may examine these most attractive hoodies!" said the black mass of gluttony.

It was Queen Chyrsallis actually. It looked like she hadn't exercised in a millennia.

Hazel Daze and Baby Carrots looked at each other. With a shrug of her pony shoulders, Hazel Daze advanced toward the corpulent queen.

When the two ponies were within fifteen paces of the queen, the green glowing horn on the monstrosity's head levitated the hoodies right off the ponies which caused them some alarm.

Fat Chrysallis sniffed the garments deeply.

"Hmmmmm, these are definitely covered in my pheromones. Something that I can't say for you," said Chrysallis as she focused her eyes on the naked ponies before her.

This isn't gross! Ponies are naked most of the time anyways!

Much like bees surrounding a queen in her hive, the changelings are able to identify one another due to pheromones put out. Without this, things would get problematic once they assumed camouflage forms of other ponies as they wouldn't be able to decipher their own from their enemies. The queen herself is the source of these pheromones and all her spawn thus excrete these chemicals.

Discord was able to copy these pheromones—because Discord can do almost anything—and put them on the hoodies that these ponies wore. Why didn't he just put them on the ponies themselves, you ask? Who knows. It's Discord. So even though they were able to move through Ponyville unhindered due to their pheromone-emitting attire, the ruse was up once Chrysallis removed these special garments. It is likely Chrysallis saw through the disguise as soon as the ponies walked into her abode.

And so we are back in Twilight Sparkle's newly renovated library with two very sheepish ponies who were now the sole focus of all the buzzing changeling's attention. The male ponies surrounding the queen, however, did not notice this change in atmosphere but retained their collectively stoned mood.

"What do we do now? This is as far as the plan went!" said Baby Carrots in somewhat anxiety.

The changelings had them surrounded and were closing in. Hazel Daze had just been in this situation, however.

"Get down!" said Hazel Daze.

As soon as Baby Carrots obeyed the order to duck, Hazel Daze shouted her "Gumo gumo no punch!" and unleashed a familiar tirade of rubbery hoof punches that quickly cleared her and Carrots of the surrounding foes.

Chrysallis only giggled at the clever display, for though the changelings had been knocked away they were not defeated. Some of them were rising and taking form of various Ponyville citizens now.

Baby Carrots tapped Hazel Daze's hoof from her prostrate position.

"Psssssss, hey! Wouldn't it be gumo gumo no kick? I mean, technically those are legs coming from your horn!" whispered Baby Carrots with perfect logic.

Chrysallis laughed, "Whatever it's called, can you bring yourself to do it to your fellow Ponyville friends?"

Even though they had sinister grins on their faux faces, the changelings advance now bore the resemblances of many of Hazel Daze's acquaintances.

With no hesitation, Hazel Daze unleashed another gumo gumo no kick and sent these changelings and acquaintances flying as well.

"Haha!" said Hazel Daze in triumph, "The joke is on you because I HAVE NO FRIENDS!"

This declaration made most people in the room feel like the joke was not actually on Chrysallis at all. A great surge of pity was tangibly felt in the room, even by the evil queen herself.

Let's examine a bit the past of this pony named Hazel Daze. Imagine her playing on the playground as a young philly with what we could assume to be her friends of the past. During a game of pretend questing, all of the sudden her horn would sparkle and one triangle made of three triangles would appear in front of her and a sword would appear in a fantastic swirling motion nearly decapitating many of her playmates. From that point on they would normally stay a mastersword's length away from her. During her angsty teenage years, she one day had a real conversation with a crush she had that caused such elation within her that her magic produced a ghostly image that she somehow knew was called a "patronus". It was in the form of a strange yellow rat that produced excessive amounts of electricity. When she showed this to her friends and her new crush, they were both scared and shocked—literally shocked—and they all fled and found replacement friends for poor Hazel Daze. After this she would spend large amounts of time singing in the mountains and creating ice castles… completely and utterly alone.

Yes. Hazel Daze had different powers that scared enough of her friends that we should feel sorry for her for another few minutes. After sufficient tears have been shed for her tragic past, let us remember that this sadness made her an ideal opponent to a swarm of changelings and come back to the present.

Once Chrysallis realized that her changelings couldn't reach these invaders, she moved her large frame as if to address the problem herself.

"Oh well, I'm actually happy you are here and so full of life," said Chrysallis, "because after I feasted on all the love and happiness and mushiness of Ponyville there was little left for me to do here. What fortune that a couple of live morsels just show up in my throneroom."

Chrysallis had feasted indeed. This is not to say that she actually ate the citizens of Ponyville but rather feasted on their love… kind of like how Tirek does with magic but not so draining. Unfortunately the lack of daytime and the presence of a dark queen had soured the mood of Ponyville and most of its citizens had darkened in turn. Chrysallis then rounded all the inhabitants up and forced them to enjoy each other. However, the ponies of Ponyville in such close proximity of each other and in such adverse circumstances had instead bickered and argued about who gets the last piece of hay or who gets to sleep on the warmest slab of prison concrete. In short, her plan had backfired and much love was lost. She then turned to making the male ponies try to compete for HER love by offering them freedom if they would but win her affection. Many ponies tried—and succeeded even—but their acts of affection were more for the freedom than for the affection of a horridly obese queen with a cankered soul of evil. They had produced so little love that Chrysallis finally turned to having her changelings try and imitate the lives of the Ponyville folk about their daily business, but yet again this failed as the changelings had difficulty registering any emotions other than obeisance to the mighty queen.

Wow. Two backstories in so little time… the pace is really suffering here. Let's get back to action.

Chrysallis, though large and seemingly lethargic, was nonetheless all the more powerful because of her ample feasting. From her horn shot a green beam of concentrated malice directed at Hazel Daze. Hazel Daze responded by saying "Expelliarmus!" and a yellow beam of her own met Chrysallis's in the typical fashion of beam vs. beam of will power war.

But Chrysallis was winning easily.

Just before the green had reached the tip of Hazel Daze's horn, Baby Carrots launched herself directly into the magical beam of malice.

"FOR NARNIA!" she cried, even though she's not the cross-over pony.

Chrysallis, in somewhat surprise, halted her attack. Hazel Daze did so as well so a momentary quiet settled on the scene.

"Ha!" said Baby Carrots as she breathed heavily, "Malice has no effect on me! I'm innocent!"

A moment after she said this, she slumped on the ground.

"Oh wait, yeah, it does affect me."

Hazel Daze, with renewed vigor and anger, growled at Chrysallis. The two were about to resume their battle when a door appeared in the air above Chrysallis. It opened at out walked Discord who politely closed the door behind him which disappeared into non-sensical space.

"Did I miss the fireworks again?"

"Discord!" yelled both Chrysallis and Hazel Daze in unison.

"Why not lend a hoof here!" said Hazel Daze.

Discord hesitated for a moment. Chrysallis looked suspiciously on.

"Discord, are you in league with these ponies?" asked Chrysallis.

"Oh dear, whatever are you talking about? I just came to bring you groceries since you're looking a little gaunt these days," said Discord as a few brown bags suddenly appeared on his arms.

Chrysallis snorted.

"We've been suspicious of you from the beginning! It wouldn't surprise that this feeble assassination attempt is your doing!" said Chrysallis.

"Well, no surprise? I must be losing my edge," said Discord, "so now that the cat is out of the bag," at this point Discord pulled Opal out of his grocery bags, "I may as well just say that I find your new image… quite becoming of you!"

Chrysallis readied her magic in a fury, but in the blink of an eye Discord appeared behind her. Chrysallis moved her voluminous mass about slowly to face Discord who promptly reappeared behind her once more. Discord played this little game with her a few more times before her fury boiled over and she began throwing magic angrily in every direction, causing Twilight's library to suffer severe damage. In fact, the structural integrity was so compromised that the buildings that were stacked on top of the library began to topple over. When the Apple family barn crashed to the ground it managed to spill it's contents which happened to be the bulk of Ponyville's population. A heard of background ponies squealed in delight as they began running in all directions.

Hazel Daze, with the limp form of Baby Carrots magically in tow, escaped outside and began to look for her parents amongst the jubilant jailbreak, but to no avail.

Suddenly the front of Twilight's library exploded and Chrysallis rolled out onto the chaotic scene with a buzzing Discord floating around her.

"Discord! This treachery will not go unnoticed or unpunished!" shouted Chrysallis as she fired one strong beam of energy toward the sky which lit it like an eerie green firework… like a radioactive firefly the size of twelve elephants lashed together with Christmas tinsel… like a UFO exploding into a zillion photons of microscopic plasma burritos.

"Well then I guess it's time to make my own exit," said Discord while still bugging the magical crap out of Chrysallis… almost literally.

"Oh Hazel Daze!" shouted Discord.

Hazel Daze halted her search for a moment to acknowledge Discord.

"I leave the rest to you," and with a bow, the form of Discord suddenly held a chain in his hand directly attacked to a collar around Chrysallis's neck. A great pit opened beneath them and a bunch of sparkly ghosts emerged, dragging Discord into it. Though he went willingly, Chrysallis dragged along the ground as her stubby legs flailed and her magic horn blasted at the chain holding her to no avail. Discord had a smile on his face despite the fact that he seemed to be currently being dragged to Tartarus with Chrysallis in tow.

With a salute and a loud flushing sound both the spirit of chaos and the queen of the changelings disappeared into the pit which promptly closed. The changelings, suddenly without leader or purpose, quickly dispersed and all that remained were some very confused pony folk… and Hazel Daze with a limp Baby Carrots.

"Huh? That was kind of macabre…" said Hazel Daze, referring to the spectacle of Discord and Chrysallis being dragged into Dante's inferno.

* * *

><p>After the chaos subsided, the Ponyvillians gathered around to take a census. Baby Carrots, who had regained consciousness was standing with Hazel Daze when she got the news.<p>

"My parents aren't here…" said Hazel Daze.

"Also, it looks like your house burnt down," said Baby Carrots, ironically cheerful.

Baby Carrots didn't know exactly which Ponyville house belonged to Hazel Daze… but it was an educated guess considering all of the houses in Ponyville had received Chyrsallis's wrath before she was vanquished. It was like parasprites all over again—nothing but charred remains of house frames all throughout the town.

"Hey there," said a yet-undisclosed male blue pony that was sitting at the feet of Chrysallis just a few paragraphs ago, "I might know where your parents are."

"Huh? Where!?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Well, long story short… I think… well, it's possible… oh geez this is awkward…"

"Just say it!" demanded Hazel Daze.

The blue male pony was visibly sweating as he responded…

"Well, I mean, it's possible that they are being kept by Sombra… in the Crystal Kingdom…"


	5. Chapter 4

Since the Ponyville Express had long been out of service due to hostile overlord takeover, Hazel Daze had to trek to the Crystal Kingdom on hoof.

"Ok, what was it you said to light this fire?" asked a Dodge Brannigan.

Around a campfire sat three ponies, our heroines Daze and Carrots and… this other guy.

Dodge Brannigan was the blue pony from last chapter that spoke a few words before time skipped forward to this little outing by Hazel Daze. His mane was a darker blue than his blue coat (it was more of a cyan, really) and his cutie mark was unknown because on his rump was a piece of paper taped on featuring an eagle holding a lightsaber that happened to be playing an electric guitar. It's a tough visual, but an awesome one.

Dodge had followed along with Hazel Daze saying he would be her friend since she had announced to the world that she had none. Instead of seeing this as sweet, Hazel Daze felt annoyed by the obviously inferred pity but tolerated Dodge anyways. He added a stallion dynamic that could come in handy… so she thought.

"Fire Dragon's Roar… it's a thing…" said Hazel Daze.

"It seemed a bit excess… I mean efficient!" said Dodge.

"So let's tell embarrassing stories about each other! That's what you do around a campfire, right?" said Hazel Daze, clearly uncomfortable about talking about her unique magic.

"Ooooooh! I'll go! Let me go first!" said Baby Carrots while raising her hoof with enthusiasm.

"My first crush," she began, "was on a rock spider!"

Hazel Daze and Dodge Brannigan looked at her quizzically.

"What?" she responded, "He gave me flowers!"

"Ok," said Hazel Daze, "Well, what about you Dodge?"

"Pssshhh… I've never done anything embarrassing ever," he replied with faux swag.

"Ok, well then good night everypony…" began Hazel Daze.

"I KISSED CHRYSALLIS!" shouted Dodge.

Hazel Daze and Baby Carrots looked at him in wide-eyed shock at this revelation.

"Did… she force you to?" asked Hazel Daze.

"No… it was peer pressure…" said Dodge.

"Ok, you win the awkward trophy," said Baby Carrots.

As if to play off that note, an extended silence followed.

"So…" began Hazel Daze, "… I haven't seen any zombies yet…"

"Sure you have!" said Baby Carrots.

"No, those were changelings. Big difference," said Hazel Daze.

"I don't think zombies would be that scary," said Dodge, "I mean, they're really slow, right? You don't even have to run away from them. You could just… trot away!"

"How do you know they're slow? Have you ever seen a slow zombie?" said Hazel Daze.

"Have you ever seen a fast one?" replied Dodge.

"Fast ones would be scary," said Baby Carrots, "like maybe zombie pegasi would be the scariest zombies. Oops! That was racist…"

"Do zombie unicorns use magic, you think?" asked Dodge.

"Duh! Ever heard of the Lich king?" said Hazel Daze.

Dodge and Carrots didn't compute this.

"I mean, whatever…" said Hazel Daze as she pawed awkwardly at the dirt.

"You know what," began Baby Carrots, "I bet you that deep down, zombies are ponies too and they just want to be loved like everypony else. Why do they get such a bad rap? I mean, just cause they're slower and probably stupider and more prone to cannibalism…"

This began a long tirade of a very ironic crusade that Baby Carrots would carry on well into the night; it was ironic because at that very moment, some very slow, stupid, and prone-to-cannibalism ponies were closing in on the travelers' camp.

The thing about outrunning slow zombies is that it's hard to run when one is asleep.

In fact, slow zombies are at their most dangerous when your eyes are closed and all your sensory processes are shut down. Since slow zombies also don't make a lot of noise other than the occasional grunting, they are unlikely to arouse anyone from slumber. Therefore, a zombie approaching a sleeping victim is like a ninja-sloth with gangrene… like a crippled octogenarian polar bear (which happens to be the only bear that has developed a taste for human flesh [but we're talking ponies here!] whatever, bad similie)… or like a surprise attack from sudden diarrhea but instead of diarrhea, surprise!, it's constipation.

Who can stand up against such a silent and tortoise-esque menace? Certainly not our motley trio… After their lengthy discussion on zombies they had finally retired the night only to awake moments later being tied to stakes and carried by some slow moving and rather despondent looking ponies. They were somewhat sparkley but lacked the necrotic look that zombies have. In fact, they more resembled crystal ponies that were imitating depressed Neanderthals. There were about a dozen of them.

Tying them to stakes? That's an unusual practice for zombies; at least, Dodge Brannigan thought so.

"Zombies!" gasped Hazel Daze when she became conscious of her situation.

Baby Carrots had no reaction herself, for she was still asleep.

"Hey, what's going on? Who are you? Where are you taking us?" asked Dodge Brannigan.

As Dodge was asking compound questions, Hazel Daze was trying to use magic, but there were some black crystals on her horn that seemed to be blocking her abilities.

Their lethargic captors did little to answer their questions. No, they did nothing. The changelings were more talkative. As such, they were left to wonder in awkward silence as they were slowly taken to wherever they were being taken to.

Turns out it was the Crystal Kingdom, which made Hazel Daze relieved that at least they were going in the right direction. Unfortunately, they were going so slowly that the crystal kingdom grew closer at an excruciatingly slow pace.

It must have taken a month… or something. It's hard to tell time when there is no day/night cycle. But the moon should still move in the sky right? Maybe Equestria is not set on a rotating planet which is why Celestia and Luna have to manually regulate celestial bodies… but then how would seasons happen? I don't know. Equestrian magic and science… they don't mesh well so don't try it, kids.

The three captives passed their time by playing "I Spy."

"I spy something sparkley," announced Baby Carrots.

Hazel Daze sighed.

"Our zombie captors!" said Dodge enthusiastically, despite this being the seventeenth time Baby Carrots had spotted something sparkley.

"Nope!" said Baby Carrots, "It's the Crystal Kingdom!"

They had arrived at their destination, though with considerably less autonomy than was ideal.

The streets of the Crystal Kingdom had returned to their pre-Cadance/Shining Armor era, being filled with these lethargic ponies who were altogether too sad to do anything of their own free will. They existed merely as subjects to serve their king. That whole prone-to-cannibalism thing—it was just a bluff. Sorry.

One pair of crystal zombies managed to catch Hazel Daze's attention.

"It's my parents!" she cried happily.

"But they're zombies," she followed up soberly.

"Hey, at least I bet you won't have to worry about curfew anymore!" said Dodge.

"Too soon, Dodge, too soon," said Baby Carrots.

"Sorry."

Hazel D. only saw them for a moment before they turned a corner and were thrown before a blue unicorn who didn't seem to be any sort of zombie.

"It seems Chrysallis has sent us more subjects to help build the mighty kingdom! Trixie is most pleased!"


	6. Chapter 5

Yup. It's everyone's favorite minor antagonist!

"Rejoice, underlings, for today you become eternal subjects to the great and powerful King Sombra!" said Trixie.

Trixie was sparkly like the rest of the crystal ponies, but for some reason she didn't seem to share their lethargy.

"So we're going to become zombies?" asked Hazel Daze.

"That doesn't sound like the worst fate I could imagine…" said Dodge.

"Do we at least get dental insurance?" said Baby Carrots.

"Haha!" said Trixie, "Think of the worst possible fate you can imagine, and times that by six!"

"Do we get Hearth's Warming Eve off?" asked Baby Carrots.

"No!" shouted Trixie.

"Hearts and Hooves day?"

"Silence! Trixie will hear no more of your banter! Trixie will take you to the magnificent King Sombra shortly! But first, Trixie must use the little philly's room…"

With that, Trixie assigned a nearby zombie guard to stand watch and ran off, tripping only once while still in view.

They sat there in relative silence for a while awaiting their doom.

"Do you think Sombra will bite us to turn us into zombies?" said Dodge with a shudder.

Hazel Daze groaned. If only she had her magic…

"Psssst…" whispered Baby Carrots.

Hazel Daze turned to her only to realize that Baby Carrots was addressing their guard.

"Hey, I bet you're a nice zombie deep down, right? I bet you want to help us out here, right?" Baby Carrots whispered to their captor.

"Actually, I'm not a zombie. Nobody here is…" said the captor in a nonchalant monotone voice.

It was a female crystal pony that matched the description of every other crystal pony that has been witnessed thus far. However, we are going to assign her some colors because there is a chance she might be a more prominent part of this story.

She was sparkly off-white with gray hair and her cutie mark was a cartoon human face resembling Daria*.

"Should we say 'walkers' to be politically correct here?" said Dodge.

"Wait, they can talk!" said Hazel Daze with excitement, probably thinking about her parents because she's a little sissy.

"Well, I can talk," said the monotone zombie, "but I didn't get raptured like all the others."

"Raptured?" asked Hazel Daze.

The monotone guard grabbed another crystal pony who was trudging by. The one she grabbed had its mouth slightly agape and drool was coming out.

"Isn't that the look of rapture?" said monotone.

"Wait, why aren't you like all the others?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Actually I'm just like them and that's why they didn't zap me. I'm looking for my best friend Maud Pie. I heard someone was around here acting just like her. Turns out it was everyone."

Some time passed where none of the ponies said anything.

"My name is Liz by the way," said the monotone pony.

"Liz? What kind of Pony name is that?" said Dodge Brannigan.

"Well what's your name?" Liz responded.

"Dodge Branniga…"

"That's a stupid name," said Liz before he could even finish.

Dodge looked a bit defeated.

"I'm Hazel Daze," said Hazel Daze.

"Mmmm, that's an ok name," said Liz.

"And I'm Baby Carrots!" said Baby Carrots.

"I mean, are you five?" said Liz.

At this point it would be good to remember that these ponies are still tied up and having their current captor be an arbitrary judge of their names…

Hazel Daze realized the absurdity of this situation and got back on topic.

"So, Liz—beautiful name by the way—" she said with an obvious glare at Dodge, "could you help us out here? I saw my parents here and I really just want to get them and leave."

Liz stared at her blankly for a minute. A whole minute.

"Ok."

Hazel Daze was shocked and elated, and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She did both. Females…

And thus it is that a naturally lethargic pony who had managed to disguise herself among other artificially lethargic ponies became the double agent to set our heroines and almost-hero back on their quest and put the plot back in motion.

Hazel Daze, being the brains of the outfit, had suggested they follow the lead of Liz (and also the pheromone idea from the changeling saga) and disguise themselves as lethargic crystal pony zombies. As such, they shambled along like a flash mob getting ready for Thriller until they reached the place that Hazel Daze had last seen her parents. It happened to be next to the jousting pens, because jousting is a crystal pony thing.

There they were! Hazel Daze's parents in all their apathetic glory!

"Mom! Dad!" shouted Hazel Daze as she galloped toward them.

"Hazel D., you're breaking character!" Dodge harshly whispered just loud enough for Hazel not to hear.

Indeed, her moment of elation had attracted the attention of several Sombra servants on the somber scene, including Hazel Daze's parents.

They responded to her beckoning with two words:

"Hail Sombra!" they said in creepy monotonic unison.

Hazel Daze halted as the slow-moving crystal ponies turned whatever aimless trudging pursuits they were about in her direction.

She hit herself in the head with her hoof, a pony's equivalent of a face palm. It's much more painful.

"Duh Hazel Daze! You have to break the zombie…or whatever… curse first!" said Hazel Daze.

"Third person is Trixie's thing!" shouted Trixie who had suddenly appeared on the scene.

A while after they had left, Trixie had returned only to find the ropes with no ponies being held by them.

"Oh no, Trixie is going to be punished again!"

With the fear of another game of leapfrog-with-all-the-unicorn-ponies-in-the-Crystal-Kingdom to motivate her, Trixie quickly left in pursuit of the escapees. Since they didn't move very fast because they were imitating zombies, she found them shortly, just as Hazel Daze was realizing her blunder.

"Now Trixie will punish you with games of leapfrog! Guards, seize them!" cried Trixie.

This declaration actually had no effect. The crystal ponies were already slowly lumbering toward Hazel Daze. Still, Trixie felt some satisfaction.

Hazel Daze was so slow to assess her situation—she's a bit of a ditz, really—that she managed to get trapped by the dozens of crystal ponies closing in on her. In the forefront of this mindless mob were her two parents, probably ready to re-bind her and re-present her to Sombra.

"Wait, mom, dad! This isn't how things are supposed to end! It's a kids show!" pleaded Hazel Daze.

Just then with a crash the advancing crystal ponies were flung in a multitude of directions. Dodge Brannigan and Baby Carrots crashed through the crowd wearing shiny Crystal pony jousting armor and wielding lances as they did so.

The lances were blunt. No ponies were harmed in the writing of this story. It is unknown how these blunt lances—which I suppose were more like large metal baseball bats—are held by ponies who do not possess the hands to hold them. There must be some sort of harness built in to the armor. Really, watch the crystal kingdom episodes, it doesn't make it clear in the cartoon either!

Anyways…

"HA!" yelled Dodge while striking a pose, "we're just saving the day, no big deal!"

With that he swung his lance and violently swept away Hazel Daze's possessed parents, probably severely injuring them in the process.

Hazel Daze yelped.

"What do you think? Dashing?" said Dodge as he struck a different pose and smiled and did that thing with his eyebrows.

"You know Dodge," said Baby Carrots as she continued batting away crystal ponies with her lance, "this armor was made for female pegasi."

"Don't take this from me!"

"Trixie has had enough of this!" shouted Trixie as her eyes flashed red, familiar to her appearance in season 3.

Her horn blazed red and red crystals sprung from the ground trapping Baby Carrots, Dodge, and Hazel Daze by freezing their hooves to the ground. Note: She is not wearing an alicorn amulet.

"Thought you could escape the wrath of Trixie did you?"

"Hey Trixie," said Liz.

"What?"

"Here."

Liz presented Trixie with a pill.

"What is this?" said Trixie, a little perplexed at this crystal pony's weird actions and verbosity.

"Medicine."

"For what?"

"Headaches."

"Headaches?"

Clobber!

"Headaches," confirmed Liz to a now unconscious Trixie. She dropped the pill next to the comatose unicorn and turned toward the others.

"Woa, that's a nasty right hook you got there Liz," said Dodge, half in fear and half in admiration.

If you remember, Liz's best friend is Maud Pie, a notoriously strong pony who conditions herself by smashing rocks with her bare hooves. One of the few things the two would do when they got together was hoof-wrestle, which is like arm-wrestling but with ponies.

"Do you want to try some medicine too?" asked Liz.

"No, no, I'm good," said Dodge.

"Well, we're still stuck here, how do we get out of this crystal stuff?" said Hazel Daze, always the pessimist.

Indeed, the three ponies were still fastened to the earth via the red crystals that held their hooves fast.

"Mmmmm, cherry flavor!" said Baby Carrots with her mouth full.

She was eating something very crunchy.

The other three watched as she dropped her head down and took another big bite… out of the crystals that held her fast.

Dodge Brannigan quickly followed suit and took a bite out of his crystal shackles.

"That's surprisingly sweet for having come from dark magic," said Dodge, "but then again I haven't eaten much lately besides glowing mushrooms…"

Hazel Daze noticed she hadn't eaten since she awoke in the Everfree forest. Following her friends' examples, the three had eaten their way to freedom.

"Hey, maybe those dark crystals on your horn are made of candy too!" said Dodge looking at Hazel Daze.

"Please don't lick my horn!" she said defensively.

"Oh… well, we probably won't need magic anyways if we are storming the castle," said Dodge, also defensively.

"No, we'll probably be fine with this," said Hazel Daze as she took up her own jousting set and suited up.

With that the four of them turned toward Sombra's crystal palace. It was pretty obvious who they needed to take down in order to end this crystal curse.

"You guys have fun with that," said Liz.

"Wait, you're not coming?" said Hazel Daze.

"Nah. I like the zombie mood around here. I think you guys would be cooler as zombies too," said Liz.

She trotted away.

The remaining three looked at each other and steeled their resolve… get it? Cause they're wearing steel? Sorry, that was awful (hoofpalm!)

With that bad pun, the ponies galloped off toward Sombra's throne room.


	7. Chapter 6

Dodge Brannigan had it right when he said that there wasn't much to fear from zombie ponies. Their lethargic movements and lack of strategic advances made them about as threatening as Goombas on Mario.

Therefore our three heroes had an easy time sweeping them away with their lances as they charged the throne room of Sombra.

At one point a female zombie pony managed to latch on to Hazel Daze's lance. Hazel Dance shook her lance vigorously to dislodge the little leach, but to no avail. It wasn't until Dodge came up and kicked the zombie pony in the face whilst she was in the midst of muttering "Haaailll Sombbraaa…"

"Thanks Dodge," said Hazel Daze.

"You know, I've hit so many girls today…" said Dodge with just a hint of regret.

Baby Carrots was giggling and apologizing at the same time as she thwacked any foes in her way.

This carried on in a sequence that is difficult to portray in this medium, so you'll have to use your imagination until the motion picture adaptation comes out.

Eventually the door to the throne room burst open and Hazel Carrots, Dodge Daze, and Baby Brannigan all burst in!

There he was, the Crystal Kingdom emporer, the coolest looking antagonist ever conceived in Equestria with black smoke steaming off of his green eyes and shining silver armor that reflected the moonlight in an awesome contrast with his dark coat and mane and sharp vampiric teeth. Yes… here was Sombra in all his terrible glory that made many small children and some adult bronies wet their beds at night!

"Welcome!" hissed Sombra.

Next to his throne were two ponies also in zombie-mode: Shining Armor and Princess Cadence.

"Attack!" growled Sombra.

"Hail Sombra!" said Shining and Cadence in unison, right before they charged toward the intruders.

"OOoooooo!" said Baby Carrots, "Cadence, I'm such a big fan!"

Carrots leapt forward and turned around and began shaking her rump and reciting a poem that went:

"Sunshine sunshine, crazy booty shake! Overtax your subjects and let them all eat cake!"

Cadence halted her zombie advance and joined right in with this very familiar nursery rhyme, even turning around herself and shaking her rump for a few seconds before being knocked upside the head by a lance.

"Did someone order an unconscious zombie princess?" said Dodge as he stood triumphantly over the limp form of Cadence, "Because it has been delivered by none other than Dodge…"

"You're taking too long…" said Hazel Daze.

An infuriated zombie-like Shining Armor tackled Dodge for his assault on his beloved and a flurry of fisti-hooves ensued.

In the meantime, a side door burst open and Trixie jumped into the scene.

"Sombra my Lord, some of your subjects are causing trouble and are possibly heading here at this moment!" said Trixie.

It was then that she noticed the three ponies and the little scuffle happening right before the throne of a clearly annoyed dark overlord.

"Oh dear…" muttered Trixie.

Sombra glared at Trixie.

"Leapfrog!" he snarled at the blue unicorn pony.

"Oh sweetie, this isn't a big deal! I let them come to you and even bound the unicorn's magic so you can have some fun…" said Trixie as she started backing away.

"Sweetie?" said Baby Carrots in confusion.

Then it dawned on everyone why Trixie had not been made a mindless zombie like all the other inhabitants of the crystal kingdom.

"Well of all the ships that could have sailed, this is what we're going with? Alright..." said Baby Carrots.

Dodge shortly won his battle with Shining Armor. It turns out that Shining Armor is a bit of a pansy without his magic, and in a zombie-like sake one tends to forget that they have magic to use in the first place.

While Hazel Daze and Baby Carrots were weary of this formidable opponent before them, Dodge—having gained confidence from his recent victory over Shining Armor—charged forward with his lance and a shout.

"LEEEEEROY JEEEEENKINS!"

Sombra seemed confused by this. Who in all of Equestria is Leroy Jenkins?

Trixie was less affected and her horn flashed red, growing red crystals on the ground in front of Dodge who promptly tripped and crashed right before the throne, bits of armor and lance sliding away.

Sombra smiled then and opened his mouth, letting out a piercing shriek that caused all three lances to vibrate violently and then shatter!

"Well done my love!" said Trixie.

Red crystals then grew from the ground and encased all twelve hooves of our heroes, trapping them where they were. Sombra stepped down from his throne and looked directly into Dodge's eyes. His dark pupils grew large and hypnotic and Dodge began to change into something much more sad looking…

"Fight it Dodge! Don't give in!" shouted Hazel Daze.

"Friends don't let friends become zombies!" cried Baby Carrots.

She quickly bit off the crystals at her foot and spit them out and charged at Sombra.

Dodge sighed and muttered, "Hail Sombra…"

Sombra turned his gaze toward the advancing Baby Carrots. She halted in her charge to look into his deep, attractive eyes and began the transformation of sadness herself.

Trixie laughed as the day was clearly won for the bad guys. Hazel Daze could only watch as her last and possibly only friends had their metaphorical souls sucked out.

"Sorry guys," she said to herself, "sorry Discord, sorry mom and dad, sorry Equestria. I think I've lost…"

Right after she said the word 'lost' she began to gag on something. Out of nowhere a large chunk of something was suddenly lodged in her throat. Mimicking a cat getting rid of a hairball as best as she could, she suddenly hacked up a large green stone which bounced on the ground in front of her.

"A summoning material?" she said puzzled.

The green stone glowed and a circle of light beamed around Hazel Daze. Above her in the air appeared a blue box with the words "Starswirl the Bearded" in it.

Suddenly a few stars fell in cinematic fashion from the night sky to land with an explosion right in front of Hazel Daze. From the residual crater and fire arose a blueish-gray unicorn male pony with a long beard and stereotypical wizard robes and pointed hat.

This newcomer took in the scene around him rather quickly. He recognized Sombra as his foe almost immediately.

"Woa!" said the pony that we assume to be Starswril the Bearded, "I can't take that guy on!"

"What?!" said Hazel Daze as whatever hope she had quickly faded.

"Yeah sorry, way out of my league," said Starswirl, "but at least I can do this."

With a small flash of his horn, the black crystals that were on encrusted on Hazel's horn were transferred to Trixie's horn.

"Huh!?" said a dumbfounded Trixie.

"Huh," said a slightly less dumbfounded Hazel Daze.

"Toodles!" said Starswirl and he disappeared in poof of cartoonish smoke.

"Well, I expected him to be a bit more helpful," said Hazel Daze, "but no matter. I can handle this now."

"Fooool" roared Sombra.

"No matter indeed!" began Trixie, "even without Trixie's magic you should know that no stallion can defeat Sombra! That is why Starswirl retreated!"

Remember that Hazel Daze is wearing crystal pony armor at this time just like her friends. That's important because it was at this moment that she shook the helmet off, letting her mane flow so freely and heroically that a breeze came out of nowhere just to make it flow. This had the effect of not only giving the audience goose-bumps of awe but also revealing her gender to Sombra and Trixie who had somehow missed all the other tell-tale signs such as the shape of her face and her feminine voice.

In the midst of this portrait of nobility, Hazel Daze had one obvious declaration to make:

"I am no stallion!"

With that her horn blazed and a bow and arrow made completely of light appeared in the air in front of her, firing a shiny laser at Sombra.

"Noooooooo!" shouted the not-so-verbose Sombra.

The light arrow pierced him and his whole form began to crack with light shining through the cracks until he exploded into tiny particles of dust and a single red and black horn that skidded across the ground. It's a cliché way to go, but one that consequently may not be too difficult to imagine.

Amidst the falling dust was a heart-shaped relic that slowly rotated as it floated to the ground. Hazel Daze rushed to it.

Hazel Daze got the Crystal Heart! Her life force has increased by one and has been fully replenished!

With the Crystal Heart restored, magical beams shot out all over the Crystal Kingdom and all the sparkley ponies learned to smile again.

* * *

><p>"That guy was actually pretty weak," said Hazel Daze to the revived Cadence and Shining Armor, "how did you manage to lose your kingdom to him?"<p>

Cadence sheepishly giggled while Shining Armor tried to explain:

"We were distracted by the fact that the sun wasn't rising at all, and he just used his shadow magic to sneak in and take us by surprise!"

"Or maybe you're just lame…" said Baby Carrots as she bro-hoofed Dodge Brannigan.

"Hey, you guys got caught too!" said Hazel Daze.

Dodge looked embarrassed but Baby Carrots lifted a hoof to Hazel Daze with a smile on her face, apparently expecting another bro-hoof (though without any bro's in this situation). Hazel Daze sighed and left her hanging.

These five ponies, with a dejected and heartbroken Trixie in tow, had left the throne room and were now walking amongst the reviving inhabitants of the crystal kingdom. Hazel Daze looked around anxiously, hoping the moonlight would illuminate two specific ponies…

"Mom! Dad!" she exclaimed when she found them in a crowd.

Half a dozen parents turned because the generic "mom" and "dad" could describe any of them. It's like when you shout for your parents in a grocery store.

Nonetheless, Hazel Daze's parents recognized their daughter and galloped over to give her a hug.

"Sugar buns, it's so good to see you!" said Hazel Daze's mom.

Sugar buns are a delicacy in Equestria, being a pastry just as the name suggests. It's also a very embarrassing term of endearment assigned to Hazel Daze by her mother and a rather suggestive nickname for certain ponies of the night. And thus the story was bumped up to a "T" rating.

Hazel Daze blushed but was happy that this at least confirmed her parents identity.

"Oh my gosh, you guys, I've had the weirdest day… or night… or whatever," said Hazel Daze to her parents.

"Well, we can talk all about it at home. Let's go," said Hazel Daze's dad.

With that Hazel Daze and her parents started to trot in the general direction of Ponyville, leaving a somewhat dejected Baby Carrots and Dodge Brannigan behind.

The Daze family—for lack of a more convenient term for them—were intercepted by Cadence and Shining Armor on their way out.

"We do want to thank you for liberating the Crystal Kingdom!" said Shining Armor.

"Please, stay for a feast in your honor! I'm sure we can find some mushrooms around here…" said Cadence.

"Oh please, I don't do feasts-in-my-honor. I'm a bit of an introvert…" said Hazel Daze.

"You liberated the Crystal Kingdom?" said her father in amazement.

"Well, yeah… and technically Ponyville too…"

"Sugar buns, that's incredible!" said Hazel Daze's mum.

"Please, I insist that you let us honor you in some way!" insisted Shining Armor.

"Then honor me by letting me go home and taking a nap!" said Hazel Daze. She's a bit bristly when she's tired it seems…

Shining Armor sighed.

"Your humility is admirable indeed. I guess this does give us more time to put the kingdom back together and get everyone adjusted to nocturnal life," he said.

Exit Shining Armor and Cadence.

The Daze family continued homeward bound for a few steps before…

"Waaaaaaiiiiit!"

It was Baby Carrots as she and Dodge ran up to Hazel Daze.

"But you're the pony of light!" began Carrots, "Aren't you going to finish the mission and bring back the sun?"

Hazel Daze looked around awkwardly.

"Listen, Baby Carrots, I didn't really think I could ever accomplish that mission. I just wanted to save my parents…" she began.

"Are these your friends, Hazel Daze?" asked her mom.

"But what about my parents?" said Baby Carrots, "What about my home and my animal friends?"

"Why don't you get Shining Armor and Cadence to help?" said Hazel Daze.

"Well, we've already established they have their hands full here…" said Dodge.

"Yeah, and Discord said you could specifically do it!" said Baby Carrots.

A somewhat awkward silence followed only to be broken by Hazel's mom.

"Are you going to introduce us Hazel?"

"Mom, this is Baby Carrots and Dodge Brannigan. They helped me beat Sombra," she said.

"And that makes us your friends right?" said Dodge.

"Don't push your luck."

"And what's this about Discord?" said Hazel Daze's dad.

"Like I said, it has been a crazy day…" replied Hazel D.

"Night…" corrected Baby Carrots with a sigh.

She lowered her head and turned away.

"Come on Dodge, let's go save the world from eternal night," she said without a whole lot of enthusiasm.

Dodge looked torn, but with an awkward grimace ultimately turned to follow Baby Carrots.

Hazel Daze hesitated as she watched them disappear into the crowd of crystal ponies amidst their half-hearted celebration.

"You know, sugar buns, it would be nice to have the sun back…" said Hazel Daze's mom.

"You don't actually expect that I can pull that off," said Hazel Daze, "I wouldn't even know what to do at this point!"

"Ok, Hazel. It's just good to have you back!" said her dad.

With that the three of them began walking toward Ponyville again.

In the shadows a slow-moving figure was silently following them.

Foreboooooode!


	8. Chapter 7

"Lumos!"

The tip of Hazel Daze's horn became an orb of soft light to supplement the moonlight on her trek back to her home in Ponyville.

"How do you know what to say when you use your magic?" asked her father.

"It just comes to me… or maybe I've read about it somewhere…" replied Hazel Daze.

"Yeah, like in a spellbook!" said her mother.

"Something like that…"

The three ponies were utterly alone on their road back to Ponyville. Or so they thought…

They had been walking for several hours and still had seemingly several hours to go.

"Well, I'm beat. Why don't we camp here for the night?" said Hazel Daze.

"Sure thing, sugar buns," said her mom.

Her father gathered some dry dead sticks from the dry dead trees and put them in pile next to the railroad tracks.

"Incendio!" said Hazel Daze as the sticks took fire immediately.

Her parents looked at her quizzically.

"What?" said Hazel Daze defensively, "I've been criticized recently for using Fire Dragon's roar…" she said.

"Ok Hazel," said her dad.

"Good night sugar buns," said her mom.

They curled up as if to go to sleep.

"So…" said Hazel Daze as the night suddenly got much quieter, "what do you guys think about zombies?"

"Oh sugar buns, you have such a vivid imagination!" said her mother.

Her father giggled. Then they both immediately fell asleep.

Hazel Daze looked to the stars. Perhaps it finally dawned on her that she really had been in that ice boulder for over six months. Part of her wondered how an ice age had not occurred in Equestria if no sun had made an appearance after all these years. Then again, let's not get into Equestrian astro-physics and magic again…

Hazel Daze sighed and prepared for sleep herself, lying down just long enough to become keenly aware of someone else's presence…

A lone shadowy figure was approaching from the shadows like a shadow concealed by shade.

Hazel Daze awaited the right moment… then sprang into action, pointing her horn directly at the intruder and shouting:

"Expelliarmus!"

A projectile of light shot from her horn with every intention of disarming this unknown opponent. It was a direct hit, but one with not a whole lot of power. It had, for a moment, illuminated a familiar off-white face with gray hair before disappearing into the torso of the figure.

A few seconds passed.

"Ow."

The shadow's voice sounded monotonously familiar.

"Liz?" said Hazel Daze.

Her parents had slept through the shouted magic attack and the ensuing conversation because they were old.

"Hey," said Liz.

She trotted casually up to Hazel Daze.

"What are you doing here?" asked Hazel Daze.

"I came to punish you," said Liz.

"Punish me? For what?"

"For destroying the zombie kingdom."

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry."

"It's ok. I forgive you."

"Really? That was easy."

"Well, because you destroyed the zombie kingdom, I was able to find my best friend Maud."

Flashback to right after the time that Hazel Daze grabbed the Crystal Heart:

All the faux-zombies regained their brains and started acting normal again. Since "acting normal" is a very individual thing, Liz was able to spot another pony who had been disguising herself as a zombie by just "acting normal" all along. It was like trying to find a needle in a haystack when all the hay suddenly disperses leaving a single shining needle sparkling in the grass.

"Hey Liz."

"Hey Maud."

They shared a short hug, then walked away in opposite directions.

Thus ends the flashback that Liz remembered with great fondness.

"Yeah. Maud's the best," she said.

Another moment of silence.

"So, why are you following me?" asked Hazel Daze.

"I came to punish you. Also, you dropped this," said Liz.

"Dropped… what?" asked Hazel Daze.

In response, Liz's eyes went crossed, and with a very manly hauk, she spit out a shiney green orb.

Liz wiped her mouth, "I thought it was a shiney rock, but it's actually not. So I didn't give it to Maud."

Hazel Daze immediately recognized it as the summoning material that had brought forth Starswril the Bearded. Despite his unwillingness to fight, he had come in handy.

"Thanks Liz," said Hazel Daze.

Clobber!

Notice there was only one exclamation point after this particular onomatopoeia, signifying Liz had struck with less force than she had done with Trixie. As a result, Hazel Daze was still conscious.

"Ouch! Liz, what the tartarus!?" said Hazel Daze.

"I forgive you," said Liz.

Hazel Daze had not yet finished seeing stars before Liz started to leave.

"Wait, Liz, where are you going?" asked Hazel Daze.

"To find your friends. They need to be punished too."

"Wait, do you know where they are?"

"No."

"Then how will you find them?"

"I'll find them eventually," said Liz as she was trotting away.

"So you're going to scour all of Equestria until you find them?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Sure."

"Why?"

"Because," said Liz, "I'm bored."

Hazel Daze sighed and slumped on the ground, absent-mindedly toying with the summoning material.

"Me too…" she said to herself.

Suddenly the orb brightened and Starswirl appeared in a poof.

"Sorry for the less dramatic entrance, but those special effects are very expensive," said the bearded pony.

Starswirl noticed Hazel Daze being very unimpressed by his sudden appearance, as well as Liz who hadn't even turned around.

"What's the problem, my dear?" asked Starswirl.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. You can disappear again," said Hazel Daze.

"Where are your friends? Didn't you have something you were supposed to do?" said Starswirl.

"They're off looking for the sun. I feel kind of bad letting them do such a vain thing all alone, but I don't think I'll be any real help."

"They're looking for the sun? How silly," said Starswirl.

"Exactly! How could two ponies hope to bring the daytime back?" said Hazel Daze.

"Oh that part is not silly. Looking for the sun is. If I were in your position, I'd be looking for the pony responsible for raising the sun!" said Starswirl.

"You mean Celestia? How would anyone go about looking for her?" asked Hazel Daze.

"Well, I do have this crystal ball thing…" and with that Starswirl pulled out of his hat a transparent sphere.

"Wait, you can find her?" asked Hazel Daze, regaining some momentum.

"Maybe," replied Starswirl.

The sphere suddenly became cloudy as Starswirl gazed into it.

"Actually, no," Starswirl said as the crystal ball went clear again.

"No?"

"Yes. No. I cannot locate Celestia's location or her last whereabouts."

"Man, you're as useful as always," said an obviously sarcastic Hazel Daze.

"Hey, I helped you get out of a bind in the Crystal Kingdom, didn't I?" said Starswirl.

Hazel Daze begrudgingly admitted that he had even though he had refused to fight.

"Yes, and it's not as though I lack the ability to find Celestia, she's just nowhere to be found in Equestria," said Starswirl.

"Huh?" replied Hazel Daze, clearly puzzled by this last revelation.

"Indeed, we're out of luck there. So where would one look next?" asked Starswirl.

"I guess for Princess Luna?"

"Good guess!" said Starswirl, who quickly peaked at his crystal ball before saying, "but she's also a no-go."

"But you didn't even…" began Hazel Daze.

"Who would you then look for next?" asked Starswirl, cutting her off.

"Uuuuhhhhhh…" began Hazel Daze.

"Maybe another alicorn?" hinted Starswirl.

"Cadence? But I already know where…"

"No no no, confound it! Who is the pony that acts as disaster control for Equestria? The one that wields the Elements of Harmony?"

"Uuuuuuhhhhhhh…."

"The only other alicorn? The one with hair that looks like Trix yogurt?"

"Uuuuuuuuhhhhh…."

"Her name starts with a 'T' and ends with a 'Wilight'?"

"Stephanie Meyer?"

….

"Who in tartarus!" began Starswirl.

"I'm just joking! I know it's Twilight Sparkle. So where is she?" said Hazel Daze.

"Yes, Twilight Sparkle. My biggest fan…" said Starswirl with some exasperation.

He looked into his crystal ball again and the clouds roiled and rumbled inside until he declared:

"I can't find her either."

"Wow, this guy really is pointless," said Liz who was suddenly still in the vicinity.

"Wait, but I can tell you where she was last seen!" said Starswirl.

"Ok great!" said Hazel Daze.

"She was last seen at the Tree of Harmony in the Everfree forest," said Starswirl.

"Well, that's a lead," said Hazel Daze, still clearly not sold on going herself.

"You may also want to know," said Starswirl, "that I saw your friends heading in the direction of the Everfree forest."

"You mean Baby Carrots and Dodge Brannigan?"

"No, your other friends," said Liz with a slight smirk.

"Go to Tartarus!"

"Well, that should be sufficient," said Starswirl, "toodles!"

As he was about to poof out of existence, Hazel Daze said, "Wait!"

Starswirl held off on his poofing.

"Why did I have this materia in my throat? Why did you come to me?" asked Hazel Daze.

"I'd rather not talk metaphysics with you right now…" said Starswirl.

Then he poofed.

Hazel Daze was left there with Liz and her sleeping parents.

"Metaphysics? What are those?" asked Hazel Daze.

"I think it means fate," said Liz.

"Fate…" sighed Hazel Daze. She turned to her sleeping parents.

"Hey mom, hey dad… I'm going to save the world, so I'll see you later…" she said.

"Ok sugar buns," said her mom whilst still asleep, "have fun!"

"Sugar buns?!" said Liz with her eyes suddenly lighting up like never before. Then she burst into such maniacal and raucous laughter that Hazel Daze readied her magic in case Liz was actually some sort of changeling all along.

"Shut up," said Hazel Daze.

"Well," said Liz while wiping away tears and giggling still, "let's go find your friends. I still have to punish them too!"

She dashed off ahead of Hazel Daze into the night. Hazel Daze rolled her eyes and galloped off following her, back to the Everfree forest.


End file.
